The Flamingo: Nature’s Neon Weirdo

Flamingos look like someone dared evolution to get weird, and Ma Nature said "hold my beer." Built like a question-mark that learned to walk, these abstract-sculpture creatures are screaming with bright colors in a wilderness full of camouflage.

The pink? It's the old "you are what you eat" come to life. Flamingos get that color from their diet. That algae, fly larvae and shrimp they eat are fulla beta-carotene which gets broken down in the digestive system and pumped out into their feathers. The brighter the pink, the better the eater, the more other flamingos wanna bone and make baby flamingos!

Speaking of baby flamingos, making and raising them is exhausting. Flamingo parents can even go gray because of their kids! Flamingos can lose their vibrant pink color because of the intense demands of the breeding season, and the crop milk that BOTH parents produce to feed the little hump trophy. But flamingo parents have an advantage over us two-leggers. After those babies grow up and can feed themselves, mom and dad can finally chill and have a decent dinner. Once they do that for a bit, all that pink magic happens again and that powerful pop of color comes right back.

And about those goofy ass legs. These top-heavy birds look like they'd tumble over in a stiff breeze. But nah. Those legs are built and placed right smack in center mass. Like Todd Howard said, "It just works." Except, for flamingo legs they actually do just work. And when they're standing on one leg -- yeah, they're showing off -- it's because when they do that, they take basically zero muscular engagement to stay upright. It's their default pause mode.

Ever wonder why those beaks look broke? It's cuz these mofos basically eat upside-down. Well, sorta. They're standing straight up, shoot their heads straight down and gobble from the water they're standing in. Again, it just works.

Also, there's no such thing as a lonely flamingo. That flock energy is electric. From the whole "safety in numbers" deal to ritualized mating behaviors, these beautiful rioters don't do anything without their mates.

Flamingos are proof that survival doesn't have to be subtle. Sometimes the wildest way is the best way. Strange can be a strategy. Normal is boring. So don't be wary of getting a little weird. Live on.